The Truthalizer™

Advertisement

truthalizer

 

This latest product designed by the Masons of Truth will soon be available in new age establishments all across the European mainland! You can think of it as a subtle metal detector for the soul. Regardless of your spiritual alignment, The Truthalizer™ will improve your spiritual properties and galvanize your sense of self. It has everything today’s mindful seeker of Truth will enjoy!

The Truthalizercan:

• detect and prohibit dark thoughts!

roy

Roy Orbison uses the Truthalizer daily to check himself for Bilderberg-loyal woodticks

 

detect and neutralize government bugs implanted into your organs!

• freshen up your coat, suit or jacket using special Ante-Crease™ technology!

decrease your amount of body thetans by at least 18%!

• realign any wonky chakras using Gu-Right™ technology!

gauge the spiritual alignment of your lice, woodticks and/or parasites!

read and interpret your aura to enable sweet aura freshness for any occasion!

vacuum your contaminated immortal soul free of any false, socialist and/or sexual impulses!

If you’re a first time user of the Truthalizer™ you can call our Truthalizer™ Hotline to book an appointment with one of our licensed urban monks, who will guide you through this complex and rapturous spiritual experience. After three sessions you will be able to safely use the Truthalizer™ on your own. This safety measure has been put in place so you will not accidentally let dark thoughts, spirits or ghosts enter your godly mind and meddle with your immortal soul.

The Masons of Truth will offer the first session free of charge. After your three initial sessions (whereof you will pay for two) you are, as previously explained, eligible for personal use of this sophisticated and powerful tool. However, it is strongly recommended by the Masons of Truth and our glorious leader, mentor and guiding light – Jesus – to attend more personal training by our urban monks. Along with the more sophisticated training, you will then also be eligible to hold sessions with your own trainees for which you will be paid with rebates on other Truthcourses™. The more trainees, the merrier and more spiritual!

Interested? We thought so! For inquiries about orders and pricing, you can either call our Truthalizer Hotline at 06-666-666-665, or simply get in touch with the Masons of Truth Lodge closest to your residence. We look forward to hearing from your God-given soul!

 

Advertisement

A Molten Net in Sun (2002)

 

”A direct line of distinctive descent”

moltencover

Album cover by Samuel Lundgren

 

So I guess it’s up to me to write this blog post I have just written about our first album. Me and Mr. Sobranie are lifelong companions (not in the gay way) since the baby school. We wanted to start the band and be those big rock stars. The ones from TV. You know? We weren’t allowed to by our stupid friends, most of whom wanted the music to be very hard and tough. The guitars were to be loud; the bass was to just rumble; the drums were to be struck as quickly as possible by the double pedal. Lyrically approved subjects were, in order: Satan, death, the trolls and vikings of the forest, and the debatable power of the moon. It may sound strange to you, young and current reader of today – age of transgender rights and authenticity – but such were the times at that point. We wouldn’t have any of that. We set up two studios (BOF Studio A and B) and created a concept album clocking in at an hour and twenty minutes. We used acoustic guitars instead of electric ones. We employed the drum machine. And we unloaded all our frustrations with society and the human condition onto eighteen songs. Continue reading