INT: The Intensifying Hearts Club & Leisure Centre, in the women’s bathroom

MARCIA is crying hysterically into the sink. SALINA and MONICA are consoling her.

MARCIA

Why oh why does this keep happening to me? Don’t I deserve love and all those special things? Haven’t I always worked hard here at DADDY’s club? Why oh why did PJALTUR, the love of my life, leave me and shack up with the most famous classically trained dancer in the city?

 

MONICA

Come on now girl, you know how men are. It simply doesn’t matter how in love you are, how much pleasure you’ve given him, how much money he owes your DADDY, how many times he’s promised you that you’ll be married and live forever in bliss. When a man meets a beautiful woman, his heart tells him the secret instructions that have been passed down man-to-man since the ancient times and he simply has no choice but to follow his heart. It’s not his fault; he wanted so dearly to be with you; he simply had to follow his inherited Man’s Heart.

 

SALINA

I can’t get the toilet to flush. Help me now please.

 

MARCIA

What you’re saying is obviously true, but my heart tells me that it’s not too late and that our perfect romance will bloom once more. I don’t care that he betrayed me. Without him, what am I gonna do?

 

SALINA

Flush toilet please.

 

MONICA sighs deeply and shakes her head.

MONICA

You remember what FRANK said?

 

MARCIA

I don’t even care anymore. Oh, don’t look like that. You know I would never question FRANK. But this time it’s different. This is my last chance to find love, happiness and all those special things. If it’s not now, it’s never. I have to marry PJALTUR, don’t you understand?

 

SALINA

Help with toilet please. I gotta get home to watch the hockey game.

 

MONICA

If we all start questioning FRANK, where will this club & leisure centre end up? Who got you out of the Gastronomy Institute before the catastrophe? Who had a talk with DR. ADAMSON and made sure you weren’t blamed? Who has the corrupt police force of this town in his pocket and wields it with prejudice to protect your DADDY’s important business deals with THE MAYOR? FRANK is the light of this town, no one but he can show us the way. You know this!!

 

SALINA

Yelling. Gonna disturb other customers in club?

 

MARCIA

Please, you two are my best friends since our time at the hair salon, not another word about FRANK. I don’t want to hear it.

 

MONICA

(Yelling angrily) Well then, if that’s how it’s going to be, we’re done you and I. You can just call someone else next time you’ve been left by the love of your life or dropped your expensive cheese in the toilet. We’re done as friends! You’re an impossible woman!!

 

Suddenly ANGÉL GABRIÉL enters.

ANGÉL GABRIÉL

Listen up ladies, there have been complaints from the VIP section about the noise level in here. THE MAYOR himself is seated at the table and he’s about had it with you women and your noisy, ungainly minds. Do you want to be thrown out in the bitter cold of the night? MARCIA, your DADDY is sitting at the same table and he’s so ashamed of your actions that he’s considering cutting you out of his will. I don’t need to tell you that that is an event you don’t even want to think about. Now get out of here and have a martini at the bar on my tab. There, there, get outta here you silly ladies.

 

SALINA

Hey Mr. GABRIÈL, this is bathroom for women.

(CONT)