Ask Three Fellows, vol. 10

Numbers, do those exist? This is the question we put to our panel of wise and opinionated fellows this week.

Charlene Darlene – Proud Trumpist, sandwich consultant, junior semiautomatic guns 101 best-in-class ’89

darleneNo! Numbers is just lies as all God-honest patriots know! Numbers is occult Jew magic made up by the Jew Wall Street Washington Congress Swamp Hillary Clinton Pinko Liberal PC New World Order World-Controlling World Conspiracy!! Continue reading

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Excerpt from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 17, episode 59

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Int: Location unknown, Pastor Jing’s auditing chamber

MARCIA is sitting despondently on the edge of a divan. Long time no see, MARCIA! She seems as scattered as ever, and is nervously looking around the small room, waiting for someone. There is a chair for a practitioner to sit in as well as a small table with a glass of water and an e-meter. MARCIA jumps, startled, when PASTOR JING suddenly enters. The PASTOR strides purposefully over to his chair, all the while scanning a folder held in his hand. He addresses his patient nonchalantly, without meeting her pleading gaze.

PASTOR JING

Right, MARCIA WILKINSON. You are troubled by memories of trauma sustained at the Gastronomy Institute and have been under the wicked influence of psychiatry. Is that correct?

Continue reading

Excerpt from “Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 17, episode 49

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Int: the Intensifying Heart Club, wine lounge

DADDY, DR. ADAMSON and POLLYANNA are seated at a small table, sipping from glasses of expensive red wine. The table is covered by pieces of money and scattered paperwork.

DR. ADAMSON

So let’s run through this one more time. The Club is losing business, we’ve lost what little influence we had at the Committee, and now you’ve recieved an e-mail from FRANK. Is that the gist of it?

 

Continue reading

Excerpt from “Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 17, episode 35

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Int: The Mayor’s Munch House, command central

THE MAYOR is sitting at a desk, speaking on the phone with an unheard, unknown individual. PAULETTE is sitting to his left, at a makeup table in the corner of the room. Her face is turned away from the camera. Her eyepatch is off and we can vaguely see a strange green glow in the mirror, coming from the right side of her face. To THE MAYOR’s right, there is a scrying pool of greenish, magical water.

THE MAYOR

Right, well, I is gonna have ta thank yez once again, pardner! This was a really great idea. The auditing of the Gastronomy Institute is the perfect opportunity to step up one’s ambitions – with that slippery cactus ADAMSON busy, the Intensifying Heart Club is in an unusually vulnerable position. Yes, they have been working out real good! They sure done did the job. Didn’t they, PAULETTE?? Continue reading

The Truthalizer™

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This latest product designed by the Masons of Truth will soon be available in new age establishments all across the European mainland! You can think of it as a subtle metal detector for the soul. Regardless of your spiritual alignment, The Truthalizer™ will improve your spiritual properties and galvanize your sense of self. It has everything today’s mindful seeker of Truth will enjoy!

The Truthalizercan:

• detect and prohibit dark thoughts!

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Roy Orbison uses the Truthalizer daily to check himself for Bilderberg-loyal woodticks

 

detect and neutralize government bugs implanted into your organs!

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decrease your amount of body thetans by at least 18%!

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gauge the spiritual alignment of your lice, woodticks and/or parasites!

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The Masons of Truth will offer the first session free of charge. After your three initial sessions (whereof you will pay for two) you are, as previously explained, eligible for personal use of this sophisticated and powerful tool. However, it is strongly recommended by the Masons of Truth and our glorious leader, mentor and guiding light – Jesus – to attend more personal training by our urban monks. Along with the more sophisticated training, you will then also be eligible to hold sessions with your own trainees for which you will be paid with rebates on other Truthcourses™. The more trainees, the merrier and more spiritual!

Interested? We thought so! For inquiries about orders and pricing, you can either call our Truthalizer Hotline at 06-666-666-665, or simply get in touch with the Masons of Truth Lodge closest to your residence. We look forward to hearing from your God-given soul!

 

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