Int: The Mayor’s Munch House, command central

THE MAYOR is sitting at a desk, speaking on the phone with an unheard, unknown individual. PAULETTE is sitting to his left, at a makeup table in the corner of the room. Her face is turned away from the camera. Her eyepatch is off and we can vaguely see a strange green glow in the mirror, coming from the right side of her face. To THE MAYOR’s right, there is a scrying pool of greenish, magical water.

THE MAYOR

Right, well, I is gonna have ta thank yez once again, pardner! This was a really great idea. The auditing of the Gastronomy Institute is the perfect opportunity to step up one’s ambitions – with that slippery cactus ADAMSON busy, the Intensifying Heart Club is in an unusually vulnerable position. Yes, they have been working out real good! They sure done did the job. Didn’t they, PAULETTE??

 

PAULETTE

They have proven themselves to be very resourceful when it comes to our special requirements. Oh, here is one now!

 

As she has seen in the mirror, a strange creature has just glided into the room. It resembles a shrimp large as a Promerican football, but it has the texture of salmon. It has feathered wings, an ivory horn and a parrot’s beak. It does not seem to have eyes.

THE MAYOR

Doggone it, here is one of the little fellers! Yes, my sweet assistant is able to communicate with them fully, as owing to her new spectral abilities! I have tasked her to return these test samples to The Crevice presently, along with our official order. We’ll take the bunch!

 

The creature has glided up to PAULETTE. She replaces her eyepatch and turns toward the animal. We can now see that her left hand has been replaced with a robotic claw. PAULETTE and the creature begin to converse in a strange language made up of clicks and an electrical hum.

THE MAYOR

And I take it these critters’ culinary tendencies have to do with whatever’s on the other side of The Crevice? Right. Yes, it is cheating in a way, but as they are a part of nature themselves, I think it can be allowed. And this ability to create spontaneous dishes in the midst of nature is simply too dang sweet to pass up! This will be the edge we need to make it to the big time fully. FRANK away, DR. ADAMSON indisposed by taxes, DADDY busy dealing with his stinking wife… It’s THE MAYOR’s time to shine! Yes, we’ll speak again tomorrow.

 

He hangs up and turns to PAULETTE.

THE MAYOR

What is it you and that monstrosity are speakin’ on?

 

PAULETTE

Oh, this little fellow is apparently the ambassador for his kind. His peers have asked him to express their appreciation for their generous accomodations, and speaks of their enthusiasm for joining your staff.

 

THE MAYOR

Aw shucks, PAULETTE, that sentiment sure could melt the heart of any old stone-cold desert hombre! Give the shrimp abomination my compliments, and send him along.

 

PAULETTE turns to the creature again, but is interrupted by a knock on the door. A MYSTERY MASK member enters. The badge at his lapel reads “NO. 28B”.

THE MAYOR

Ah, 28B! Ahead of schedule on your report, are you?

 

The MYSTERY MASK’s response is electronically distorted by the mask.

MYSTERY MASK NO. 28B

Greetings, bo- pardner. Yes, we have moved past stage three in the scenario. It seems the GABRIÉL family is even stupider than our projections anticipated, and they may soon make their move. However, as PASTOR JING is still missing, my counterpart 28A and I decided to hold off on advancing to stage four until we could get your input, boss. Sorry, I meant to say pardner.

 

PAULETTE smirks.

THE MAYOR

You done good, compadre. All right, let’s have ourselves a good ol’ MAYORAL think where this do leave us. Sweet thang?

 

PAULETTE

(Laughs)

Well, it is a conundrum. The MUNCH HOUSE plan or the Crevice plan… We can’t do both without first gaining access to the Club.

 

MYSTERY MASK NO. 28B

My counterpart suggested launching the Staccato Initiative to buy some time.

 

PAULETTE and THE MAYOR glance at each other and smile.

THE MAYOR

That sounds like a good idea. Why don’t you and this little feller accompany each other to The Habitat for now? Me and the lady need to gab over the finer details.

 

MYSTERY MASK NO.28B

Understood, boss. Sorry, pardner. I’ll call you later, when everything is in place.

 

The MYSTERY MASK bows, and is accompanied out of the office by the bizzare animal. The door shuts.

THE MAYOR

All right, my dove, just one last thing to discuss before you set off.

 

While they speak, PAULETTE strips off her regular, capitalist/adventuress clothing and begins putting on a black outfit of leather and metal, complete with cloak and mask… The unmistakable uniform of a MYSTERY MASK member.

PAULETTE

Well, you know what I think about Operation X. It is too risky by far.

 

THE MAYOR

Risk or not, sometimes a lonely cowboy gonna do what a lonely cowboy gonna wants to do. In my opinion, the Operation X Plan Directive is ingenious. I just gotta be real careful like, once the guy is on the loose.

 

PAULETTE

Yes, but that all depends on the guy you hire. You’d need to vet him or her carefully… Here’s an idea: Why don’t we hire the same bounty hunter to do various random tasks, with different levels of difficulty? That way we could make sure in advance that the guy we hire to kill you isn’t too competent.

 

THE MAYOR

Dang it, PAULETTE, you’re like to give a fella a bad self image. Look at me, do you really see a guy who can’t keep hisself from getting caught and killed by some two-bit, rural mercenary? I’m a man’s man and a fast-shooting cowboy, dagnabbit! No, the important part will be to spread the news that someone is gunning for me, and let people draw their own conclusions. And those conclusions will surely be: It was FRANK! And thereby the trap will close itself. He’s just about lost the support of the common folk already, with this little push we will end the era of him and begin the era of ME! My bravery will endear me to all the citizens of this here desert town, see! And once we have the supply line clear courtesy of the weird-ass critters, the townsfolk will all want to come eat at my place!

 

PAULETTE is now dressed in the full MYSTERY MASK costume barring the nametag and mask.

PAULETTE

Yes, I think you’re right that the common folk will soon be fed up with FRANK‘s ways. But what about the danger from FRANK himself? If the rumours are true, he has now attained the rank of Spirit Master, and some of his associates are no laughing matter either. Our local practitioner of the Gastronomical Arts will probably make short work of the audit, and then he might give chase as well. You need to think of ways to protect yourself, should it come to daggers.

 

THE MAYOR

Ain’t that what you’re supposed to be for, bambina?

 

PAULETTE

Yes. Well, let me see what I can find out.

 

She lifts the eyepatch. Beneath is not an empty socket at all, but a brilliant, green jewel which shines and pulses.

PAULETTE

(Yelling dramatically)

DELUXE JEWEL GREEN, activate!

 

The jewel flashes a couple of times.

PAULETTE

FRANK is still out of commission. He is locked up at the Institute. His soul is someplace else, though, a very cosmic and spiritual place, and I can’t gain access with only this one JEWEL. If you could let me have the other one as well…

 

THE MAYOR

I do need to keep some magic locked away for myself, sweetness. Also, I would miss looking into your beautiful eye.

 

PAULETTE

Well, The Crevice looks abandoned for now. We could go with either plan as early as tonight, we just need to make the final desicion.

 

She replaces her eyepatch and puts on the mask.

THE MAYOR

You should follow your counterpart for now. I think it would be unwise to go straight to The Crevice, but if you were to make a pit stop at The Habitat, we might have something cooking!

 

PAULETTE has donned the mask, and now puts on the nametag, reading NO. 28A.

THE MAYOR

And you will of course not let 28B suss out who you really are. Now, fill this bottle with water from the scrying pool, take the bottle, your usual outfit and this bag of my old dirty gym clothes to The Habitat, make contact with 28B and tell him to go wait outside the Club. And remember to use my new official title when addressing the other MASKS!

 

MYSTERY MASK NO. 28A

Of course… Grand Magic Führer.

(CONT)