Numbers, do those exist? This is the question we put to our panel of wise and opinionated fellows this week.

Charlene Darlene – Proud Trumpist, sandwich consultant, junior semiautomatic guns 101 best-in-class ’89

No! Numbers is just lies as all God-honest patriots know! Numbers is occult Jew magic made up by the Jew Wall Street Washington Congress Swamp Hillary Clinton Pinko Liberal PC New World Order World-Controlling World Conspiracy!! They’s just trying to make President Trump look bad in numbers and economical dumbness when the poor guy just started the job and is already doing a better job than Kenya-born Obama and Jew-born evil Hillary Clinton who both destroyed this country! Numbers are fake news!!! The Pres is doing great, has saved millions of Coal Jobs, and will soon make sure that everyone gets great health care! It don’t matters if the Big Politics Senators have made a paper that says a couple million people will be uninsured, President Trump is gonna fix all that! And the people that would of loosed there doctors are probably the same millions, or frankly BILLIONS of people who committed Voting Fraud upon the President to make it look like Crooked Jew Hillary won the populist vote which is LIES!!! Just like them fancy New York Washington Wall Street Big Politics numbers.

Tom Michelin – Professor of Euro-American studies at the Alternate History Institute, university of Doomtown

Well, you see, the various unhistorical non-histories of the notion of numericals are quite interesting indeed. On E-WW2+NAR (or in other words the alternate earth where the second world war did not take place but the Native American Revolt did), the equivalent of president Trump – president Falling Bear of the Cherokee Party – did not have to contend with tricky mathematics at all. When the Quantum Bomb which ended Hitler’s pretentions went off, the very nature of numbers were altered on a metaphysical level, and they became manipulable by Quantum Math Magic. And it was indeed that strange circumstance that enabled the Native Americans to succeed in becoming the dominant political power in America. Their intuitive and geniune approach to nature jived very splendidly with the new state of things, and they were simply able to manipulate numbers in subtle ways that swelled their ranks and lined their pockets, and the people were all the better off for it – the whole thing would have evolved into a most peaceful and orderly society. There is so much wisdom to be found in the ancient Native American Gurus. In all, there are about fifty different alt-histories where numerical science took different paths than the one with which we’re familiar. But the Republican Party’s health care plans wouldn’t have added up in any of those either, sadly.

Jasonius Nostradamon Hogg – numerologist, occult adviser, friend of the snake

Course they exist, bro. Numbers are the smallest materials making up our whole reality. You can see this in so many ways, dude. You can teach yourself to look for significant numbers in your daily life. You will then see these numbers reflected everywhere. Let me tell you an example. Say you buy some sweet yoghurt, right, man? And you look at the barcode, the numbers are, say, 7273728. You eat the fuckin yoghurt and think about how you feel. So you write the numbers down, right, with good ink? And you check with the charts on the website. All serious numerological groups have a website with good charts. If the feeling was good, you check against the good chart (in this case, plus one to all numbers) and if the feeling was bad, you check against the bad chart (in this case, minus two to all numbers except fives – plus two to those). And you look for the resulting numbers around you. In our example, we’ll say the yoghurt was good, so we get the numbers 8384839. You might see that as a registration number on a random car, you get in, they’re playing the sweetest metal bro, and they take you to a wonderful place you can be free. For seious bro, you can find so much joy in life by taking the time to look at numbers. How can that possibly not be real? It’s confirmed every day! You see the good numbers will repeat themselves all over the place and show that you’re on the right path. Trust the numbers, that’s what I always say, bro!