Sluggerhand (2015), part 1

“Frank faces his toughest opponent yet: True Love…”

Sluggerhand nytag-Kreuzb36

Album cover by Adam Sobranie

One album, an old comic book, plenty of important insights on life’s long path. Material collected over a long period in the band’s history from several disparate sources. The record starts in the past and moves toward the future, and begins in the future on a sure and austere path to the past. It starts and ends on literally the EXACT SAME CHORD, so you can listen to it on a loop all year long without needing to worry about the bad thoughts finding their way in. Continue reading

The Truthalizer™

Advertisement

truthalizer

 

This latest product designed by the Masons of Truth will soon be available in new age establishments all across the European mainland! You can think of it as a subtle metal detector for the soul. Regardless of your spiritual alignment, The Truthalizer™ will improve your spiritual properties and galvanize your sense of self. It has everything today’s mindful seeker of Truth will enjoy!

The Truthalizercan:

• detect and prohibit dark thoughts!

roy

Roy Orbison uses the Truthalizer daily to check himself for Bilderberg-loyal woodticks

 

detect and neutralize government bugs implanted into your organs!

• freshen up your coat, suit or jacket using special Ante-Crease™ technology!

decrease your amount of body thetans by at least 18%!

• realign any wonky chakras using Gu-Right™ technology!

gauge the spiritual alignment of your lice, woodticks and/or parasites!

read and interpret your aura to enable sweet aura freshness for any occasion!

vacuum your contaminated immortal soul free of any false, socialist and/or sexual impulses!

If you’re a first time user of the Truthalizer™ you can call our Truthalizer™ Hotline to book an appointment with one of our licensed urban monks, who will guide you through this complex and rapturous spiritual experience. After three sessions you will be able to safely use the Truthalizer™ on your own. This safety measure has been put in place so you will not accidentally let dark thoughts, spirits or ghosts enter your godly mind and meddle with your immortal soul.

The Masons of Truth will offer the first session free of charge. After your three initial sessions (whereof you will pay for two) you are, as previously explained, eligible for personal use of this sophisticated and powerful tool. However, it is strongly recommended by the Masons of Truth and our glorious leader, mentor and guiding light – Jesus – to attend more personal training by our urban monks. Along with the more sophisticated training, you will then also be eligible to hold sessions with your own trainees for which you will be paid with rebates on other Truthcourses™. The more trainees, the merrier and more spiritual!

Interested? We thought so! For inquiries about orders and pricing, you can either call our Truthalizer Hotline at 06-666-666-665, or simply get in touch with the Masons of Truth Lodge closest to your residence. We look forward to hearing from your God-given soul!

 

Advertisement

Excerpt from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 14, episode 62

intensifying4

INT: The Intensifying Heart Club & Leisure Centre, in the bar

Seated at the bar are MONICA and her ex-employer, the aged MADAME MORGANNA, matriarch of the hair salon and arch-rival to DADDY and the Club.

Editor’s note: You don’t have to keep reminding us, Chad, everyone reading the stage directions already knows who she is. If you wanna remind people of the characters, put it in the ”previously” segment. It’s there for a reason, man. Also, if they are arch-rivals, why is she hanging out at his establishment?

 

MONICA

So I suppose you’ve heard the latest gossip about the ongoing conflict between DADDY and THE MAYOR? Continue reading

But why me? Oh but why me?

Dear Masons of Truth,

I do believe in the word of Christ and that Jesus Christ is our lord and savior – the way, the truth and the life. He died on the cross one fell Friday afternoon. Jesus has literary saved my life. Without him, not only would my life be much more dull and damp, but I would not be here today. I would be dead. This is hard to write. But it is the truth.

I have grown into the stories of Christ and the teachings of the bible. Many people in my experience can’t answer why we should believe the Bible. For me that is the most central question of all. I believe many Christians just take it for granted. But I do find it strange how you can call yourself a Christian and not believe in the Bible and the word of God? What can you believe then? Continue reading

A Molten Net in Sun (2002)

 

”A direct line of distinctive descent”

moltencover

Album cover by Samuel Lundgren

 

So I guess it’s up to me to write this blog post I have just written about our first album. Me and Mr. Sobranie are lifelong companions (not in the gay way) since the baby school. We wanted to start the band and be those big rock stars. The ones from TV. You know? We weren’t allowed to by our stupid friends, most of whom wanted the music to be very hard and tough. The guitars were to be loud; the bass was to just rumble; the drums were to be struck as quickly as possible by the double pedal. Lyrically approved subjects were, in order: Satan, death, the trolls and vikings of the forest, and the debatable power of the moon. It may sound strange to you, young and current reader of today – age of transgender rights and authenticity – but such were the times at that point. We wouldn’t have any of that. We set up two studios (BOF Studio A and B) and created a concept album clocking in at an hour and twenty minutes. We used acoustic guitars instead of electric ones. We employed the drum machine. And we unloaded all our frustrations with society and the human condition onto eighteen songs. Continue reading

Ask Three Fellows (vol. 03)

Dear reader,

many ask us masons all sorts of questions. As it should be. We do conduct research on a wide variety of issues, stretching from currency derivatives to genetically modified mice; from cricket fight gambling strategies to gerry mandering. As well as perhaps our most favorite subject: the life after this. There are many opinions on this topic and the truth lodge, being the biggest tent, is obviously the best place to go if you want to hash out the specifics about this. So, without further ado, what happens after you die? Continue reading

Excerpt from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 14, episode 18

intensifying4

INT: The Intensifying Heart Club & Leisure Centre, at a table in the VIP section.

DR. ADAMSON, DADDY, and ANGÉL GABRIÉL are seated at the table, eating huge greasy steaks, drinking brandy and smoking big cigars. The table is covered by piles of money and gold jewellery. FRANK is lying on the floor next to the table in a rapturous trance. DR. ADAMSON, DADDY and FRANK are wearing the finest clothes and ties you can think of, while ANGÉL GABRIÉL, the younger man, is wearing a simple black suit and dark glasses.

DADDY

Well then, gentlemen, this has been another fine and successful day. Now that THE MAYOR is finally satisfied, I feel it is only a matter of time until we have full control of the Committee.

 

ANGÉL GABRIÉL

The Committee today, the town tomorrow, am I right, fellows?

Continue reading

Live in Political City (2014)

We’ve got atheists, we’ve got christians. We build bridges. You are welcome.

cover27

Album cover by Samuel Lundgren, logotype by Wille Westerman

Travelling with the truth crew is tiresome. I am just so fucking tired. I work, I travel, I work, I travel, and these assholes mess things up. Last night we’re having dinner and someone orders a tall Wild Turkey. They don’t have it. The same person then orders a tall Long Island Ice-tea. ”Easy on the soda” he says. He drinks it. He walks out. He badgers everybody to join him for a smoke. No one does. I do though. We go out. He needs to pee. He looks at a poster and laughs at the poster ”Troll tits and the seven truckfighters”. Then pisses. Someone screams. A cellar window is open and he pisses straight down to some sorry Belgian’s living room. He walks away. I’m confused and don’t know if I leave or if I go down and help clean up. I hear a car, I hear a siren, I see a cop. I run. I run til’ my legs can’t carry me anymore. I pass out and I wake up without my wallet or phone with my pants down in a hobo camp in the outskirts of Dortmund. Continue reading

Excerpt from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – Season 14, epiode 15

intensifying4

INT: The Intensifying Hearts Club & Leisure Centre, in the women’s bathroom

MARCIA is crying hysterically into the sink. SALINA and MONICA are consoling her.

MARCIA

Why oh why does this keep happening to me? Don’t I deserve love and all those special things? Haven’t I always worked hard here at DADDY’s club? Why oh why did PJALTUR, the love of my life, leave me and shack up with the most famous classically trained dancer in the city? Continue reading

Ask Three Fellows (vol. 02)

So how did the world start out? How did it all begin – can anyone know? No, you can’t, but you can have an idea. Exactly how the universe started is obviously really hard to know for certain. The most kosher theory out there is, of course, the Big Bang. According to which the universe started from a dense hot mess of particles tugging against each other and then exploding all over space. Spectacular theory. So this sexually loaded theory accounts for the fact that the universe expands and provides explanations for a broad range of phenomena like cosmic microwaves, Hubble’s law and John Travolta’s inexplicable belief in Scientology. Continue reading