(Please note, the following recap is for real and NOT A META TRICK. You can take this recap at face value.
Again, this is for real.)
satire
Ask Three Fellows, vol. 10
Numbers, do those exist? This is the question we put to our panel of wise and opinionated fellows this week.
Charlene Darlene – Proud Trumpist, sandwich consultant, junior semiautomatic guns 101 best-in-class ’89
No! Numbers is just lies as all God-honest patriots know! Numbers is occult Jew magic made up by the Jew Wall Street Washington Congress Swamp Hillary Clinton Pinko Liberal PC New World Order World-Controlling World Conspiracy!! Continue reading
Excerpts from “Intensifying Hearts & Dreams”, season 18
Episode 1
Int: The Intensifying Heart Club, at a table in the VIP section
DADDY, ANGÉL GABRIÉL and SALINA are seated at the table, eating luxurious jumbo shrimps and lobsters.
DADDY
Well, then. Shall we just wait for FRANK before we order dessert?
SALINA
Sir… I’ve been wanting to say something for a while. Why… Why aren’t we trying to reaquire our pristine baybee? Isn’t that important at all to FRANK? I don’t know why I should have to lend him my body all the time. I know we messed up, but that isn’t the baybee’s fault. I kind of miss it…
ANGÉL
Sweet heart, what did we say about questioning FRANK?
Supplementary Material from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams”, season 17
Chapter 21
Dearest readers, journalists, and fans! For today’s chapter we present an exclusive look at ”Frank’s Funeral Program”. This limited edition, true-to-life piece of memorabilia was produced during season 17 of the show, and distributed to lucky viewers exclusively at telenovela conventions, actor appearances and signings, and other similar events. Enjoy!
Signed, Johannes Dalgren /creative director, the BOF
Excerpt from ”Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 17, episode 59
Int: Location unknown, Pastor Jing’s auditing chamber
MARCIA is sitting despondently on the edge of a divan. Long time no see, MARCIA! She seems as scattered as ever, and is nervously looking around the small room, waiting for someone. There is a chair for a practitioner to sit in as well as a small table with a glass of water and an e-meter. MARCIA jumps, startled, when PASTOR JING suddenly enters. The PASTOR strides purposefully over to his chair, all the while scanning a folder held in his hand. He addresses his patient nonchalantly, without meeting her pleading gaze.
PASTOR JING
Right, MARCIA WILKINSON. You are troubled by memories of trauma sustained at the Gastronomy Institute and have been under the wicked influence of psychiatry. Is that correct?
Excerpt from “Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 17, episode 49
Int: the Intensifying Heart Club, wine lounge
DADDY, DR. ADAMSON and POLLYANNA are seated at a small table, sipping from glasses of expensive red wine. The table is covered by pieces of money and scattered paperwork.
DR. ADAMSON
So let’s run through this one more time. The Club is losing business, we’ve lost what little influence we had at the Committee, and now you’ve recieved an e-mail from FRANK. Is that the gist of it?
Ask Three Fellows, vol. 07
Dear all sweet Masons of our collective and treasured truth! A lot has been said in these pages about Trumpnik. But let’s switch our approach for a bit. Here comes a question for you: How about that sweet old grandmotherly lady, who is possibly a corrupt shill for the suicidal capitalists and/or Rotschild bankers, clearly does not understand the mysteries of modern technology fully, and/or may just be a working politician trying to do her best? In short, would you consider voting for Hillary Clinton?
Charlene “Arlene” Davidson – Former child beauty pageant winner, chicken sandwich recipe website proprietor, self-proclaimed dispensor of down-to-earth country wisdom
Hell no! Don’t trust Crooked Hillary – she is Crooked! Don’t you stupid liberals understand that’s why she’s called Crooked Hillary? You wouldn’t call someone that if they weren’t crooked would you? Check mate liberal scum! Continue reading
Ask Three Fellows, vol. 06
Dearest Masons of Truth, spread across this great globe of ours! This time, in a joint effort between the Political Commentary on the Political Commentary Bureau and the Gastronomy Institute, we have asked three of your prominent members an important and topical question. Politics – what’s it all about? For example, the US presidential election… What is that stuff!!??! In essence: Do you believe that the business of politics and the actions of politicians influence your life?
Patsy Paulson – Christian Scientist, freelance missionary, and Healer
No. As a Healer in service to the Lord, I believe there are far more important things to think about than politics. It is shamefully vain of us lowly humans to believe that we are in control of our destinies. The only one who decides about destiny is our lord God, and of course no man can influence God. Continue reading
Excerpt from “Intensifying Hearts & Dreams” – season 1, episode 1
DVD transcript
“The BOF TV” logo is shown, followed by the following message:
“Thank you for purchasing this anniversary DVD edition of the first season of the show, available for the first time in unabridged form! Enjoy audio commentary by the stars and creators of this classic telenovela!” Continue reading
Excerpt from ”Modern Love” – season 376, episode 44,257
Int: The Crystal Palace, tickle chamber
PENELOPE is sitting at the lab table reading documents pertaining to marine biology, a bucket of multicoloured, gyrating tentacles by her side. She furrows her brow in contemplation of these difficult matters. LEO enters from the Yellow Gardens with a tray of new samples, which wriggle about sleepily. They have the build of large shrimp, but the texture of salmon and each has a beak, a horn and a pair of vestigal wings.
LEO
Latest haul from PROFESSOR SPECTRE. Do you have time to take a look at these?
Continue reading
a truth called nothing 