Dear citizen,
Today the president-elect orange orangutan will assume office of the United States of America. Welcome to the age of ignorance.
PCPCB
Ray Sawyer is disturbed that no one takes President-elect Orangutan seriously
Well, just recently the President-elect, Donald Orange Truthranger Trump, tweeted this:
Is it true? No, it’s not.
Although this image was created by a man with no artistic skills whatsoever, 100% of our focus group stated that they couldn’t tell whether it is a drawing or a photo.
It’s what you feel, not what is real
This is a joke like the guy who commented ”death to all liberals” as a funny joke
I’m Ray Sawyer, and I’m the lead political commentator here on The Political Commentary on the Political Commentary Bureau. These are my thoughts about what unraveled last week. This isn’t an exhaustive list, and shouldn’t be treated as such, it really is just some reflections on this clusterfuck of an election. It’s still a little much for a sensitive country soul like me. Today we hear Orange Jungleland moved in with his millionaires, lobbyists and immediate family (who will continue to run his weird dysfunctional marketing enterprise without any separation between what will be the president and them. A president suspected of direct bribes and currently under investigation for running basically a Ponzi-scheme (ie Trump University)). Continue reading
Ray Sawyer explains why you always lose if you vote Trump. No winners can vote Trump.
My fellow Americans,
Election day is around the corner. A fantastic day. For people like me it’s like the Superbowl, World Cup final, Champions League, Olympics (winter and summer), World Series, March Madness, Tour de Gudenå and Stanley cup all rolled up into one festive occasion. It’s greater even, because it’s actually real. It has real outcomes. The stuff above hasn’t, which is why it might be strange that I compare the two. Watching sports is a nuisance and a hobby. Elections affects everything and should be your no.1 priority in terms of understanding and participation. Yet, if we’re honest, that’s not really the case is it? Continue reading
DEALBREAKERS!!! – Special Mother Russia edition
Special Mother Russia edition
When you are running for the world’s most powerful office it’s important to know what you’re talking about. Since Donald Trump never knows what he’s talking about, he should already be disqualified. But as Communication guru Rasmus Kleis Nielsen said: “…if people do not expect you to be very measured and controlled and on message all the time, they never expect that of you.” True that. Now, most people live in something scientists have long called “reality.” If you’re not familiar with the concept, it is a set of common parameters for all that is and ever has been. (At least until we can upload our minds to a computer, after which I assume it can be absolutely whatever). Continue reading
DEALBREAKERS!!!
Special Medical Doctor edition
Donald Trump hilariously got his doctor to write a note to school that said, of course, he was the healthiest man alive. Yes, this is true. And it is so badly written you have to sit down when you read it. Highlights include “laboratory test were astonishingly excellent” and “His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary” and, the grand prize, “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” All this is obviously ridiculous and utterly unworthy a candidate for the presidency of the United States. Continue reading
DEALBREAKERS!!!
Special lying edition – And why it’s so goddamn important.
When you go to civics class when you’re young there’s this talking point about Hitler having said something along the lines of “tell a big lie, make it simple, tell it frequently, and they will be believe it.” This strategy was part of how Mr Hitler got into power in the 1930s in what was then Weimar Germany. If you’re not familiar with Mr Hitler, he was the primary antagonist of the Second World War and famous for his watercolour painting, the deconstruction of the equal value of human life, the murder of 6 million Jews, the destruction of a continent and some 70 to 80 million lives lost worldwide in total. In all, the deadliest and most destructive conflict in the history of mankind.
DEALBREAKERS!!!
Dear Masons,
As a result of our analysis, everything points toward the supporters of Donald Trump being one of three things: a) blatant racists and to a varying degree believers of dirty nationalism (or Nazism as we used to call it in the ‘30s), b) cheap and unwilling to contribute to the beautiful thing called civilization (or pay taxes as we‘ve called it the last 3000 years) or c) people who identify strongly with the Republican party to an extent that the ‘R’ is an extension of themselves. Continue reading
