Dearest readers, journalists, and fans! For today’s chapter we present an exclusive look at ”Frank’s Funeral Program”. This limited edition, true-to-life piece of memorabilia was produced during season 17 of the show, and distributed to lucky viewers exclusively at telenovela conventions, actor appearances and signings, and other similar events. Enjoy!
Signed, Johannes Dalgren /creative director, the BOF
“And I would even fight God for you”
Album cover by Chad Fabuloso D’Annunzio
Look at an empty room where people were hanging out and doing various activities only hours ago. Think about faith. Imagine faith as that empty room. There it is, the blueprint for atcn’s lost concept album, May 25th. Keep hold of that image, please, as it will help you focus on what you’re about to read. The following text was written by Jonah Leslie Bradshaw, a true believer in religion. This is to show that we as an atheist organisation are more than willing to allow contrasting viewpoints. Signed, Johannes Dalgren, creative director / BOF Records
Int: Location unknown, Pastor Jing’s auditing chamber
MARCIA is sitting despondently on the edge of a divan. Long time no see, MARCIA! She seems as scattered as ever, and is nervously looking around the small room, waiting for someone. There is a chair for a practitioner to sit in as well as a small table with a glass of water and an e-meter. MARCIA jumps, startled, when PASTOR JING suddenly enters. The PASTOR strides purposefully over to his chair, all the while scanning a folder held in his hand. He addresses his patient nonchalantly, without meeting her pleading gaze.
Right, MARCIA WILKINSON. You are troubled by memories of trauma sustained at the Gastronomy Institute and have been under the wicked influence of psychiatry. Is that correct?
“Give it to me, baby, and I’ll suck it…”
Promo flyer for the Archipelago Man’s abandoned rock opera “Sluggerhand”, repurposed by atcn
Int: The Gastronomy Institute, café
MADAME MORGANNA is sitting by herself at a table for two. The Institute’s lobby is mostly abandoned and she is alone in the café but for one of her tame peacocks, curled up by her feet.
Enemy territory once more after all these years… Who would have thought it possible?
Int: the Intensifying Heart Club, wine lounge
DADDY, DR. ADAMSON and POLLYANNA are seated at a small table, sipping from glasses of expensive red wine. The table is covered by pieces of money and scattered paperwork.
So let’s run through this one more time. The Club is losing business, we’ve lost what little influence we had at the Committee, and now you’ve recieved an e-mail from FRANK. Is that the gist of it?
Today the president-elect orange orangutan will assume office of the United States of America. Welcome to the age of ignorance.
We wrote these fragments a day after his death. We haven’t really looked at them since, but the idea came up to do a re-run on the one year anniversary and see what came out. One year later comments are in green. We recommend that you listen to either Scary Monsters, Let’s Dance or Heathen while reading this. Thank you. Sorry. Our condolences. /Adam & Sam
Int: Location unknown, the Committee conference chamber
Members of the Committee and various invited guests from other organisations are gathered around the conference table. STERN SPICE is speaking on the phone with wait sorry never mind. Continue reading