Numbers, do those exist? This is the question we put to our panel of wise and opinionated fellows this week.
Charlene Darlene – Proud Trumpist, sandwich consultant, junior semiautomatic guns 101 best-in-class ’89
No! Numbers is just lies as all God-honest patriots know! Numbers is occult Jew magic made up by the Jew Wall Street Washington Congress Swamp Hillary Clinton Pinko Liberal PC New World Order World-Controlling World Conspiracy!! Continue reading
“Give it to me, baby, and I’ll suck it…”
Promo flyer for the Archipelago Man’s abandoned rock opera “Sluggerhand”, repurposed by atcn
Well, just recently the President-elect, Donald Orange Truthranger Trump, tweeted this:
Is it true? No, it’s not.
Although this image was created by a man with no artistic skills whatsoever, 100% of our focus group stated that they couldn’t tell whether it is a drawing or a photo.
I’m Ray Sawyer, and I’m the lead political commentator here on The Political Commentary on the Political Commentary Bureau. These are my thoughts about what unraveled last week. This isn’t an exhaustive list, and shouldn’t be treated as such, it really is just some reflections on this clusterfuck of an election. It’s still a little much for a sensitive country soul like me. Today we hear Orange Jungleland moved in with his millionaires, lobbyists and immediate family (who will continue to run his weird dysfunctional marketing enterprise without any separation between what will be the president and them. A president suspected of direct bribes and currently under investigation for running basically a Ponzi-scheme (ie Trump University)). Continue reading
My fellow Americans,
Election day is around the corner. A fantastic day. For people like me it’s like the Superbowl, World Cup final, Champions League, Olympics (winter and summer), World Series, March Madness, Tour de Gudenå and Stanley cup all rolled up into one festive occasion. It’s greater even, because it’s actually real. It has real outcomes. The stuff above hasn’t, which is why it might be strange that I compare the two. Watching sports is a nuisance and a hobby. Elections affects everything and should be your no.1 priority in terms of understanding and participation. Yet, if we’re honest, that’s not really the case is it? Continue reading
Hi, I’m Ray Sawyer and I know there’s been a lot going on. You might think this has to be about Director Comey finding new Hillary mail among Weiners dick-picks? That is, sadly for Rs (and conspiracy leftys), not the case. What I want want – nay, need!!! – to say is: I want to officially apologize to all Republicans for not being able to supply you with all Donald Trump DEALBREAKERS!!!. It is simply too much, which ironically is a DEALBREAKER!!! in itself. In fact, it might just be the ultimate DEALBREAKER!!!: if your preferred candidate brings so many DEALBREAKERS!!! you can’t keep up with them, it’s a giant goddamn motherfucken’ DEALBREAKER!!! Continue reading
Dear all sweet Masons of our collective and treasured truth! A lot has been said in these pages about Trumpnik. But let’s switch our approach for a bit. Here comes a question for you: How about that sweet old grandmotherly lady, who is possibly a corrupt shill for the suicidal capitalists and/or Rotschild bankers, clearly does not understand the mysteries of modern technology fully, and/or may just be a working politician trying to do her best? In short, would you consider voting for Hillary Clinton?
Charlene “Arlene” Davidson – Former child beauty pageant winner, chicken sandwich recipe website proprietor, self-proclaimed dispensor of down-to-earth country wisdom
Hell no! Don’t trust Crooked Hillary – she is Crooked! Don’t you stupid liberals understand that’s why she’s called Crooked Hillary? You wouldn’t call someone that if they weren’t crooked would you? Check mate liberal scum! Continue reading
Special Mother Russia edition
When you are running for the world’s most powerful office it’s important to know what you’re talking about. Since Donald Trump never knows what he’s talking about, he should already be disqualified. But as Communication guru Rasmus Kleis Nielsen said: “…if people do not expect you to be very measured and controlled and on message all the time, they never expect that of you.” True that. Now, most people live in something scientists have long called “reality.” If you’re not familiar with the concept, it is a set of common parameters for all that is and ever has been. (At least until we can upload our minds to a computer, after which I assume it can be absolutely whatever). Continue reading
”A direct line of distinctive descent”
Album cover by Samuel Lundgren
So I guess it’s up to me to write this blog post I have just written about our first album. Me and Mr. Sobranie are lifelong companions (not in the gay way) since the baby school. We wanted to start the band and be those big rock stars. The ones from TV. You know? We weren’t allowed to by our stupid friends, most of whom wanted the music to be very hard and tough. The guitars were to be loud; the bass was to just rumble; the drums were to be struck as quickly as possible by the double pedal. Lyrically approved subjects were, in order: Satan, death, the trolls and vikings of the forest, and the debatable power of the moon. It may sound strange to you, young and current reader of today – age of transgender rights and authenticity – but such were the times at that point. We wouldn’t have any of that. We set up two studios (BOF Studio A and B) and created a concept album clocking in at an hour and twenty minutes. We used acoustic guitars instead of electric ones. We employed the drum machine. And we unloaded all our frustrations with society and the human condition onto eighteen songs. Continue reading
a truth called nothing 