Numbers, do those exist? This is the question we put to our panel of wise and opinionated fellows this week.
Charlene Darlene – Proud Trumpist, sandwich consultant, junior semiautomatic guns 101 best-in-class ’89
No! Numbers is just lies as all God-honest patriots know! Numbers is occult Jew magic made up by the Jew Wall Street Washington Congress Swamp Hillary Clinton Pinko Liberal PC New World Order World-Controlling World Conspiracy!! Continue reading
Dear citizen,
Today the president-elect orange orangutan will assume office of the United States of America. Welcome to the age of ignorance.
Well, just recently the President-elect, Donald Orange Truthranger Trump, tweeted this:
Is it true? No, it’s not.
Although this image was created by a man with no artistic skills whatsoever, 100% of our focus group stated that they couldn’t tell whether it is a drawing or a photo.
I’m Ray Sawyer, and I’m the lead political commentator here on The Political Commentary on the Political Commentary Bureau. These are my thoughts about what unraveled last week. This isn’t an exhaustive list, and shouldn’t be treated as such, it really is just some reflections on this clusterfuck of an election. It’s still a little much for a sensitive country soul like me. Today we hear Orange Jungleland moved in with his millionaires, lobbyists and immediate family (who will continue to run his weird dysfunctional marketing enterprise without any separation between what will be the president and them. A president suspected of direct bribes and currently under investigation for running basically a Ponzi-scheme (ie Trump University)). Continue reading
American Election 2016 the Debriefing
Hello, my name is Kaj Samuel Lundgren and I am a singer and multi-instrumentalist
in the postmodern stadium rock band, a truth called nothing. Just like a lot of people, I am interested in America, like America, and wish for America to do well. As we now know, the country has just dealt itself a major blow by electing a dilletante, con-man, would-be demagogue for president; and all over the world sensible people are asking themselves how things could go so wrong. I believe I can answer at least part of that question. Let’s bullet-point it up! Continue reading
My fellow Americans,
Election day is around the corner. A fantastic day. For people like me it’s like the Superbowl, World Cup final, Champions League, Olympics (winter and summer), World Series, March Madness, Tour de Gudenå and Stanley cup all rolled up into one festive occasion. It’s greater even, because it’s actually real. It has real outcomes. The stuff above hasn’t, which is why it might be strange that I compare the two. Watching sports is a nuisance and a hobby. Elections affects everything and should be your no.1 priority in terms of understanding and participation. Yet, if we’re honest, that’s not really the case is it? Continue reading
Hi, I’m Ray Sawyer and I know there’s been a lot going on. You might think this has to be about Director Comey finding new Hillary mail among Weiners dick-picks? That is, sadly for Rs (and conspiracy leftys), not the case. What I want want – nay, need!!! – to say is: I want to officially apologize to all Republicans for not being able to supply you with all Donald Trump DEALBREAKERS!!!. It is simply too much, which ironically is a DEALBREAKER!!! in itself. In fact, it might just be the ultimate DEALBREAKER!!!: if your preferred candidate brings so many DEALBREAKERS!!! you can’t keep up with them, it’s a giant goddamn motherfucken’ DEALBREAKER!!! Continue reading
Dear all sweet Masons of our collective and treasured truth! A lot has been said in these pages about Trumpnik. But let’s switch our approach for a bit. Here comes a question for you: How about that sweet old grandmotherly lady, who is possibly a corrupt shill for the suicidal capitalists and/or Rotschild bankers, clearly does not understand the mysteries of modern technology fully, and/or may just be a working politician trying to do her best? In short, would you consider voting for Hillary Clinton?
Charlene “Arlene” Davidson – Former child beauty pageant winner, chicken sandwich recipe website proprietor, self-proclaimed dispensor of down-to-earth country wisdom
Hell no! Don’t trust Crooked Hillary – she is Crooked! Don’t you stupid liberals understand that’s why she’s called Crooked Hillary? You wouldn’t call someone that if they weren’t crooked would you? Check mate liberal scum! Continue reading
Special Mother Russia edition
When you are running for the world’s most powerful office it’s important to know what you’re talking about. Since Donald Trump never knows what he’s talking about, he should already be disqualified. But as Communication guru Rasmus Kleis Nielsen said: “…if people do not expect you to be very measured and controlled and on message all the time, they never expect that of you.” True that. Now, most people live in something scientists have long called “reality.” If you’re not familiar with the concept, it is a set of common parameters for all that is and ever has been. (At least until we can upload our minds to a computer, after which I assume it can be absolutely whatever). Continue reading
Special Medical Doctor edition
Donald Trump hilariously got his doctor to write a note to school that said, of course, he was the healthiest man alive. Yes, this is true. And it is so badly written you have to sit down when you read it. Highlights include “laboratory test were astonishingly excellent” and “His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary” and, the grand prize, “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” All this is obviously ridiculous and utterly unworthy a candidate for the presidency of the United States. Continue reading
a truth called nothing 